Master OBI WAN-KER (pronounced 'Wonker', as he is swift to point out) was born to wield the Force. As a young Padawan, WAN-KER displayed un-matched prowess in his ability to handle a Lightsaber, see the future or open a can of VB from across the room.
He progressed to the rank of KNIGHT after his Master was slain in the infamous battle of Richmond Safeway. His ability to command his troops and legions of half-sober football fans was unparalleled.
It was WAN-KER's uncanny skill and agility that led to the eventual destruction of the dreaded 'DEF-STAR': a 24 hour convenience store and Chinese Take-away which had claimed the lives of at least 3 people and which had no doubt played a pivotal role in the disappearance of several dozen domestic cats. Upon this noble victory, WAN-KER was elevated to the elite rank of MASTER. From this moment OBI WAN-KER would be forever associated with the term 'Legend' (although some still considered him a tosser but he chose to ignore that).
Recently, WAN-KER has been struggling with a deep disturbance in the Force. The re-emergence of the Dark Side has seen Evil take many new forms. The most heinous of which has so far eluded him: a Dark Lord named DEATH
* OBI WAN-KER is a wholly owned subsidiary of the 'Experimental Party Games and Short Range Nuclear Weapons Laboratory of Zeta Reticuli' (Recommended ages: 8-80. May explode upon impact.)
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